Rules and Regulations
by WerewolvesAreReal
Summary: Other people always seem to be in awe of Spock's perfect poise and control. But then, those people don't have access to his reports. Humor.


When Kirk first notices it, he thinks Spock has made a mistake.

Then he pauses, considers this sentence, and decides that Spock is just interpreting regulations in a very strange way, because Commander Spock does not make _mistakes. _Kirk has only worked with the man a few months, and Spock has only just been promoted to First Officer, but that much is already apparent.

Still, the tiny sentence which reads that the Science Officer has sent his list of requisitions to the First Officer for approval makes Kirk chuckle.

Sometimes Spock takes regulations just a little too literally.

* * *

He next notices it about a day later, and over the same matter.

Specifically, because the science requisitions have been _denied._

Kirk's first thought is, _alright, so Spock should have a new list by 2100 hours, _and he automatically factors this into his schedule. Then the strangeness of the situation catches up with him, and he thinks, _wait, denied by _who?!

Spock's requisitions have been denied by... himself, apparently. Kirk is stumped.

He puzzles over this mystery for awhile, putting his work aside. Perhaps Spock later realized that he requisitioned unneeded items, and denying the request was easier than writing the retracting paperwork? But that would also imply a _mistake, _which Kirk finds difficult to believe. Then he sees that there is an official reason given for the denial, and he accesses the First-Officer's file.

Stares.

_".. by number 456 paragraph 3, subsection c, the Science Department's request for additional protein synthesizers exceeds the allotted number necessary for the continued functioning of lab 12..."_

There are _five _specifically cited refusals, which can't be any sort of mistake, surely. As Kirk frowns, there's a soft _ping_ on his padd.

Apparently, the Science Officer has just sent a _new _list of requisitions to the First Officer.

Typically this isn't something Kirk would busy himself with – requisitions aren't the captain's business – but Kirk's intrigued. He accesses the file.

And Spock -

Spock is _arguing with himself._

He's only conceded one of the five items. _"Your arguments show a flawed understanding of Starfleet regulations," _Spock accuses in a personal, accompanying message with the report. _"All included items are regular and carefully selected..."_

Kirk sits back and watches, dazed, as his padd pings, pings, pings.

* * *

"Bones," Kirk hisses the following morning, watching Spock warily across the rec room, "You've done Spock's physical since he's been aboard, right?"

McCoy huffs what is probably a grudging agreement.

"And he was fine? Mentally, I mean?"

"As fine as a Vulcan gets," McCoy says absently. He prods his tray of brightly-colored cube-food dubiously, and mutters, "A little more concerned for my own health, with this stuff..."

There are fourteen messages going back and forth between the Science Officer and the First Officer. _Fourteen. _Spock spent nearly two hours last night _crafting arguments against himself, _and Kirk isn't sure whether that makes him want to laugh or cry.

This man is my first officer, he thinks despairingly.

Lord help him.

* * *

Because there is really no way to bring up the subject, Kirk decides to ignore it.

He very determinedly does _not _read any more arguments – okay, maybe some of them – okay, only most of them – and he is always very relieved that Spock manages to work things out with himself. He's a little apprehensive that one day, the First Officer and Science Officer will have irreconcilable differences and will ask the Captain to mediate, and Kirk isn't sure his sanity will be able to handle that.

But, for now, he ignores it, and ignores it, and this proves to be a good thing. Because Spock – possible craziness aside – is a brilliant officer, and a brilliant friend. He gains a reputation as the best First Officer in the fleet, and Kirk is more than willing to vouch for that.

Though there are times – like now, relaxing on Risa with the off-duty Captains of the _Jonston _and _Icarus, _where that reputation seems pretty incongruous.

"How do you do it?" Captain Nelly is asking as Kirk fiddles with his datapadd. "I mean, nothing against Vulcans, but I think it would drive me a little crazy to work with one _all day. _From sheer inadequacy, if nothing else. I had a Vulcan lab-mate at the Academy and he almost gave me a nervous breakdown!"

_Ping._

'Requisitions denied', the datapadd informs him.

...Kirk smiles faintly. "You know," he says. "Really, Vulcans aren't as perfect as you might think."

* * *

_Based on real information about General Braxton Bragg, which can be found on _

_Excerpt:_

_Ulysses S. Grant recalled in his memoirs a story about Bragg that seemed to suggest an essential need for proper procedure that bordered on mental instability. Once Bragg had been both a company commander as well as company quartermaster (the officer in charge of approving the disbursement of provisions). As company commander he made a request upon the company quartermaster-himself-for something he wanted. As quartermaster he denied the request and gave an official reason for doing so in writing. As company commander he argued back that he was justly entitled to what he requested. As quartermaster he stubbornly continued to persist in denying himself what he needed. Bragg requested the intervention of the post commander (perhaps to diffuse the impasse before it came to blows). His commander was incredulous and he declared, "My God, Mr. Bragg, you have quarreled with every officer in the army, and now you are quarreling with yourself."_


End file.
